So i have some good news!...and some bad news...The bad news is i didn't pull an all nighter...but the good news is i didn't lose my competition!! haha i made it to about 4:30 and then i crashed.
Last night. Such an interesting night. It came back again. Never ceases to do so, always on the dot. Some people want me to change or want me to fit their definition of perfect. But I decided I don't want to change myself to fit their idea of perfect. I don't want them to shape me into something im really not. Right now I'm in a very fragile place in my life and everything hurts. It's like I'm stepping on glass all the time. And I don't take what you say lightly.
I decided I want to take time to decide who I am and who I want to be. With everything that has happened I'm just so confused right now. I always had to make someone else happy for 7 months, and now I just have to make myself happy:) and I don't know what I want. I'm still trying to smooth out all the bumps in my life, but I feel like I'm making progress according to my scale...not anyone elses. I am still going to love the day when I decide to just let go and not care. I'll be able to look at you and not worry about anything. I will be free. I can't wait for that day. Cuz I know that you are free of me and you are doing "better than ever." Im tired of being what you want me to be. Even now. I'm done trying to please you. I have no tie to you and I want to be happy. for me. Just me and no one else right now.
So wish me luck everyone! In my quest to find happiness:)