It started out sweet and I was in love.
You were all I wanted but I was just a waste of your time.
Now there is so much hate and hurt feelings.
Guess we never thought we'd end up here.
You told me you loved me and I thought that you meant it.
But you ripped that word up and tore it apart.
Now my heart is an open wound and it's getting infected.
Once it seals up you tear it open again.
Leaving my heart all broken again.
Now that you're gone there's this empty feeling.
Somethings gone that shouldn't be missing.
I'm not sure if it's you or just my heart breaking.
All I know is that I am done playing.
You string me along then throw me down again.
But are you satisfied now? With all your revenge.
I'm the only one left to pick up the pieces.
And when I think I might have them, you scatter them all.
Leaving me to pick the pieces up once more.
I know you never loved me and you're better off now.
But please don't pretend. not especially now.
My heart is too broken to be fixed by your lies.
So I'm glad that you severed all of our ties.
Maybe one day I'll forget what you did.
But for right now I'll still hang by a thread.
But please don't go cutting it with your bold scissors.
My heart isn't yours to play with anymore.
You still stomp on my dreams and tear down my hope.
But one day I still hope that you choke.
Choke on your words that crushed me inside.
And choke on the part of me that probably died.
One day I'll move on and forget your sad face.
But right now it's all over the place.
You said that you love me and I know you don't care.
So please let me be, don't you think that is fair?
Maybe someone will help me fill this deep hole inside.
It's probably from when i cried and i cried.
I'm done with your games and i want it to end.
Please dont play another game of pretend.
I'm sorry I'm not yours but seeing you now is quite a chore.
So right now I'm going to shut this door.
Severing all our ties, theyre no more.
Goodbye and forget. but i'll place you a bet.
That youll come back now, oh don't you fret.
But that door is shut and won't open again.
I'll open a new door my sorry friend.
So goodbye and forget this is the last time.
I don't want to remember any of your rhymes.
now you are gone and i feel okay.
But im afraid youll come back. yes im dreading that day.
I loved what we had and I'll miss it so much.
I gave you a piece of my heart to keep.
I'm sorry I'm gone there's nothing more to say.
So just don't fret, cuz it's a happy day.
Goodbye my love.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What's The Sitch?
So i have some good news!...and some bad news...The bad news is i didn't pull an all nighter...but the good news is i didn't lose my competition!! haha i made it to about 4:30 and then i crashed.
Last night. Such an interesting night. It came back again. Never ceases to do so, always on the dot. Some people want me to change or want me to fit their definition of perfect. But I decided I don't want to change myself to fit their idea of perfect. I don't want them to shape me into something im really not. Right now I'm in a very fragile place in my life and everything hurts. It's like I'm stepping on glass all the time. And I don't take what you say lightly.
I decided I want to take time to decide who I am and who I want to be. With everything that has happened I'm just so confused right now. I always had to make someone else happy for 7 months, and now I just have to make myself happy:) and I don't know what I want. I'm still trying to smooth out all the bumps in my life, but I feel like I'm making progress according to my scale...not anyone elses. I am still going to love the day when I decide to just let go and not care. I'll be able to look at you and not worry about anything. I will be free. I can't wait for that day. Cuz I know that you are free of me and you are doing "better than ever." Im tired of being what you want me to be. Even now. I'm done trying to please you. I have no tie to you and I want to be happy. for me. Just me and no one else right now.
So wish me luck everyone! In my quest to find happiness:)
Last night. Such an interesting night. It came back again. Never ceases to do so, always on the dot. Some people want me to change or want me to fit their definition of perfect. But I decided I don't want to change myself to fit their idea of perfect. I don't want them to shape me into something im really not. Right now I'm in a very fragile place in my life and everything hurts. It's like I'm stepping on glass all the time. And I don't take what you say lightly.
I decided I want to take time to decide who I am and who I want to be. With everything that has happened I'm just so confused right now. I always had to make someone else happy for 7 months, and now I just have to make myself happy:) and I don't know what I want. I'm still trying to smooth out all the bumps in my life, but I feel like I'm making progress according to my scale...not anyone elses. I am still going to love the day when I decide to just let go and not care. I'll be able to look at you and not worry about anything. I will be free. I can't wait for that day. Cuz I know that you are free of me and you are doing "better than ever." Im tired of being what you want me to be. Even now. I'm done trying to please you. I have no tie to you and I want to be happy. for me. Just me and no one else right now.
So wish me luck everyone! In my quest to find happiness:)
All Nighter:)))) and broken hearted
So tonight I'm pulling an all nighter...but nobody knows...so shhhh! Its a contest and im determind to win!!! haha. I haven't pulled an all nighter yet this summer and i want to way bad. I always end up passed out not even knowing. I kind of love that. When you fall asleep but you dont mean to. It just kind of happens. You are asleep without knowing your asleep. superb:) Anywho I'm not sure what I am going to do all night but ill figure something out. Maybe watch a movie, play games, explore my laptop, write a novel...not. but it'll be an adventure!!! i can't wait...but ill probably end up just thinking about everything and anything.
Tons of stuff has been going through my mind lately. College, boys (of course), life, what i want to do, warped tour, growing up, being on my own and just everything! This summer has been good but its been so dang hard. I've had to live with the thought of being on my own. It's a scary thought and im not sure what im going to do quite yet...It'll take some getting use to. But im mostly nervous. haha i don't have my footing and im afraid ill slip and something bad will happen on my own. But the main thing of course that has been weighing my mind is the dreaded boys...
Ive had a tough time this summer. Losing a love is not easy. I know one day ill be stronger from it but right now it hurts. It seems like ill never get over it but i know one day ill let go and i will:) Broken hearts always seem to be a part of summer. Sadly i wish they weren't but summer and heartaches go side by side. I'm tired of being strung along and played with. It just keeps coming back. It starts out sweet but always ends sour. I hate it. Make up your mind, its not fair to anyone....The sad part is ill never get to finish my summer list and ill miss what we use to do.
Youll never kiss me in the rain.
Ill never eat Mcdonalds at the park with you again.
Ill never make smores with you again.
Ill never get a snow cone with you again
Ill never get lyrics from you again.
Ill never kiss you again.
Ill never hug you again.
Ill miss you like crazy.
And ill always love you...
But i know one day ill never hurt again.
I hate feeling this way but it won't last forever. I just need to keep my head up and smile. If i act like everythings okay maybe ill start to believe it! boys have cooties...and im okay to live without that for awhie:)
Sometimes i think we all know heart breaks are going to come but we take the risk anyway. We all put our heart on the line for the feeling of being in love. We do it for the butterflies, the holding hands, the stolen kisses, the feeling of being kissed for the first time, for the feeling of excitement when they text you, for the feeling you get when you cuddle, for the temporary bliss of being in love. But then it ends...because all good things have to come to an end...and youre heart is broken once again. But when you think back you can't help but smile...because even though you ended up getting your heart broken...it was worth it.
ANTIDOTE FOR THE BROKEN HEART:
1. Chocolate
2. Tears
3. Love Songs
4. Ice Cream
5. Chick-flicks
6. Naps
7. Friends
8. Venting
9. Fictional Hottie...to give you hope haha
10. More Tears
good luck to all you fellow broken hearted cuties:)
Tons of stuff has been going through my mind lately. College, boys (of course), life, what i want to do, warped tour, growing up, being on my own and just everything! This summer has been good but its been so dang hard. I've had to live with the thought of being on my own. It's a scary thought and im not sure what im going to do quite yet...It'll take some getting use to. But im mostly nervous. haha i don't have my footing and im afraid ill slip and something bad will happen on my own. But the main thing of course that has been weighing my mind is the dreaded boys...
Ive had a tough time this summer. Losing a love is not easy. I know one day ill be stronger from it but right now it hurts. It seems like ill never get over it but i know one day ill let go and i will:) Broken hearts always seem to be a part of summer. Sadly i wish they weren't but summer and heartaches go side by side. I'm tired of being strung along and played with. It just keeps coming back. It starts out sweet but always ends sour. I hate it. Make up your mind, its not fair to anyone....The sad part is ill never get to finish my summer list and ill miss what we use to do.
Youll never kiss me in the rain.
Ill never eat Mcdonalds at the park with you again.
Ill never make smores with you again.
Ill never get a snow cone with you again
Ill never get lyrics from you again.
Ill never kiss you again.
Ill never hug you again.
Ill miss you like crazy.
And ill always love you...
But i know one day ill never hurt again.
I hate feeling this way but it won't last forever. I just need to keep my head up and smile. If i act like everythings okay maybe ill start to believe it! boys have cooties...and im okay to live without that for awhie:)
Sometimes i think we all know heart breaks are going to come but we take the risk anyway. We all put our heart on the line for the feeling of being in love. We do it for the butterflies, the holding hands, the stolen kisses, the feeling of being kissed for the first time, for the feeling of excitement when they text you, for the feeling you get when you cuddle, for the temporary bliss of being in love. But then it ends...because all good things have to come to an end...and youre heart is broken once again. But when you think back you can't help but smile...because even though you ended up getting your heart broken...it was worth it.
ANTIDOTE FOR THE BROKEN HEART:
1. Chocolate
2. Tears
3. Love Songs
4. Ice Cream
5. Chick-flicks
6. Naps
7. Friends
8. Venting
9. Fictional Hottie...to give you hope haha
10. More Tears
good luck to all you fellow broken hearted cuties:)
Monday, July 18, 2011
Summer!!
Wow! the whole summer has almost gone by and i haven't blogged once! I need to hop on that train haha i just got a laptop(scream) so ill probably start blogging more...but ill update you on my summer! its been a pretty good one.
Ive hung out with my friends a ton! I graduated from high school which is way insane!!! i can't believe it. but it happened. It started my summer. Then i went on two senior trips. One to Zions National Park and the other to St. George. They were a blast! I also saw one of my best friends off into the air force. It broke my heart! we were super close and i couldn't believe he was leaving. Ive been bike riding a lot. My friends and i went on a 5 hour bike ride one time. I thought my legs were gonna fall off!! and i fell...typical me haha
I recently got back from trek. It was super good, but man...the after-effects sucked. My forehead and nose were peeling so bad i looked like a dinosaur and i got a blister on my lip from getting so fried! yeah i look so attractive haha. but this summer ive had so many things i love!!! And i recommend them:)
SUMMER ADDICTIONS:
1. Twitter...i am so addicted to Twitter its not even funny...haha
2. Popsicles...i eat at least one a day...at least...
3. Snow Cones...i get them all the time and i always get the same flavor. blue cotton candy!
4. Photography...i am addicted to photography. i love taking photos and doing cool things with them!
5. Wearing dresses...i dont know why but i have really loved wearing dresses!
6. Sunglasses...i have always been addicted to sunglasses but this summer ive gone crazy! i have at least 10 pair
7. Pickles...i don't know what it is but i have been eating pickles like there is no tomorrow!!
8. Salt & Vinegar chips...i guess my tongue is craving salty sour things cuz id die for a bag of these chips
9. Mumford & Sons...they totally know how i am feeling and they speak my soul. i can't get enough!
10. Bring Me The Horizon...when i have no passengers in my car i blast BMTH as loud as i can! They calm me down:)
man i love summer. it is the best! but it is so weird to think ill be leaving for UTAH STATE soon! i have all my stuff and its making me so excited!! what a weird feeling...
Ive hung out with my friends a ton! I graduated from high school which is way insane!!! i can't believe it. but it happened. It started my summer. Then i went on two senior trips. One to Zions National Park and the other to St. George. They were a blast! I also saw one of my best friends off into the air force. It broke my heart! we were super close and i couldn't believe he was leaving. Ive been bike riding a lot. My friends and i went on a 5 hour bike ride one time. I thought my legs were gonna fall off!! and i fell...typical me haha
I recently got back from trek. It was super good, but man...the after-effects sucked. My forehead and nose were peeling so bad i looked like a dinosaur and i got a blister on my lip from getting so fried! yeah i look so attractive haha. but this summer ive had so many things i love!!! And i recommend them:)
SUMMER ADDICTIONS:
1. Twitter...i am so addicted to Twitter its not even funny...haha
2. Popsicles...i eat at least one a day...at least...
3. Snow Cones...i get them all the time and i always get the same flavor. blue cotton candy!
4. Photography...i am addicted to photography. i love taking photos and doing cool things with them!
5. Wearing dresses...i dont know why but i have really loved wearing dresses!
6. Sunglasses...i have always been addicted to sunglasses but this summer ive gone crazy! i have at least 10 pair
7. Pickles...i don't know what it is but i have been eating pickles like there is no tomorrow!!
8. Salt & Vinegar chips...i guess my tongue is craving salty sour things cuz id die for a bag of these chips
9. Mumford & Sons...they totally know how i am feeling and they speak my soul. i can't get enough!
10. Bring Me The Horizon...when i have no passengers in my car i blast BMTH as loud as i can! They calm me down:)
man i love summer. it is the best! but it is so weird to think ill be leaving for UTAH STATE soon! i have all my stuff and its making me so excited!! what a weird feeling...
my cutie photography:)
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